Ficlet: Treasure Season (POTC, Jack/Will/Elizabeth, R)
Title: Treasure Season
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Rating: R
Summary: Jack's presents never arrived anywhere near Christmas.
Disclaimer: Disney made the film and owns Will and Elizabeth. No one owns Jack.
Warning: Potential anachronisms, just like in the movie.
Notes: For snottygrrl, happy holidays! Written for celandineb's Holiday Ficlet-A-Thon. Thanks to ldybastet for beta.


Jack's presents never arrived anywhere near Christmas, and they were always inappropriate to say the least. The jewel-encrusted chamber pot that was left in their parlor had almost certainly been stolen, and who knew where Jack had obtained the dagger with the ornately fashioned dragon handle that Will discovered stuck inside the wood of the door to the smithy? Elizabeth's outrage when she found the baby with a bottle of rum in his cradle subsided somewhat when she saw the emerald-and-diamond necklace draped about the bottle's neck, but not even the yards of silk folded neatly beneath the naughty African fertility carving could silence her.

Not that Elizabeth lacked imagination in that regard, of course. She loved to play pirate with Will, tying his wrists to the bedposts and threatening him with torture if he wouldn't reveal the location of the buried treasure. She liked it even better when Will gave her maid the night off and abducted her from the library to carry her to their bedroom, kicking and screaming all the way. Sometimes Jack brought books, which were Elizabeth's favorite gifts of all, particularly now that tragic love poetry was being printed along with religious and philosophical tracts. Jack wasn't much for religion, but gruesome histories of martyrs seemed to hold his interest -- at least, he held on to the books long enough to deliver them. Sometimes Will secretly wondered whether Elizabeth hadn't married the wrong pirate.

It really shouldn't have been such a surprise when Jack woke them with a "Merry Christmas, love," and collapsed into bed beside a very naked Elizabeth and her very naked husband, except that it was, in fact, Christmas day and Jack had personally accompanied the collection of purloined gems and bottles of rare French perfume he had hoisted on a makeshift pulley through a bedroom window. Jack was as unkempt as ever, but though he did smell of rum, he didn't smell unclean. When he reached out, saying, "Give us a kiss," accidentally grabbing Will's arm instead of Elizabeth's, he hesitated only a moment before dragging himself up to lock lips with his astonished prey.

Elizabeth shrieked a little, but it wasn't an angry shriek -- more the cry she made when Will was threatening to take her to his ship and ravish her -- while Will was too startled and too naked even to reach for his blade. Jack tasted like molasses and sea spray and he nodded with a kind of satisfaction, "So it's to be like this, then, is it," when Will finally came up for air. By then Elizabeth had let the bedsheet fall down so that only her hair was covering her breasts, and Jack might have looked at her appreciatively but his hands were busy turning Will over, arranging them beneath the covers as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world for them to spend Christmas morning in bed together.

Will might have objected, but with first Jack and then Elizabeth kissing him into silence, he didn't really have an opportunity, and besides, like any good sailor, Jack had his rope and his knife with him, so Will was caught in a bowline before it occurred to him to struggle. Elizabeth made a very pretty show of begging the pirate not to violate her husband, offering herself shamelessly to both of them instead, but in the end it mattered little; Jack put Will inside Elizabeth and rubbed himself up against Will, forcing them to move together, until a great warm wave spattered Will's back while Elizabeth moved hot and wet over his loins and there was nothing Will could do but try to hold on through the surge.

Commodore Norrington was one of their guests for Christmas dinner, looking sullen and admitting in clipped tones that one of their ships had been stolen that very morning by that damnable pirate Jack Sparrow. When Will shook his head, the dark bruise on his throat became visible just above his collar, and Norrington asked suspiciously whether anyone present had seen Sparrow during his nocturnal raid on Port Royal. But Will and Elizabeth denied it, and the maids giggled that the only pirates in the Turner household were make-believe.

Gifts kept appearing at random times, and sometimes Jack did too. "It's Christmas," he would always say, even in the middle of July, and Will took that as a good enough reason to celebrate.