stealthboat (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} stealthboat) wrote,@ 2007-05-27 10:43:00 |
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Drabble: Eternal Reward (POTC, Will/James, PG13)
Title: Eternal Reward
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Pairing: Will Turner/James Norrington
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: Welcome to Disneyland.
Warning: POTC3:AWE spoilers!
Even in death, James Norrington couldn't help competing.
"I died a warrior," he insisted when pulled aboard the Dutchman. "Surely I should be in some Elysian field."
"Then go find one," snapped Will, who was busy scanning the depths for other souls.
And there was the issue of fidelity. "If Elizabeth was my wife..."
"But she isn't," Will reminded him. "I won't see her again for ten years."
As Will observed, James was no longer in the Navy. "Things are different out here. No promotions... but no sodomy laws."
And in the end, James preferred to serve the Dutchman's captain.
~~~
celandineb and I were going to write some more Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End fic as consolation for the dearth of porn on LiveJournal after the Great Strikeout of 2007, but then we realized that we did not dare, for the amount of potential perversion in the POTC universe is beyond comprehension: necrophilia, bestiality, Orlando Bloom!
1. Any fic involving Jack or Barbossa = necrophilia.
2. Any fic involving Davy Jones = bestiality.
3. Jack/Goat = bestiality too, though 1) canonical and 2) not as gross as Jack/Davy Jones.
4. Jack/Jack = masturbation.
5. When Jack thought Elizabeth was a boy who wanted to sleep with him, he said he was flattered instead of having her arrested.
6. Plus he gave her rum when she was under 21. After all, if she'd been over 21, she would have been considered an old maid and Norrington wouldn't have wanted to marry her.
7. And Norrington first fell for Elizabeth when she was, like, ten years old, singing pirate songs on his ship. By the time she was old enough for him to marry, he was distracted by pirates. Perv.
8. Those two Royal Navy guards who deserted to become pirates were obviously trying to flout sodomy laws.
9. Given Elizabeth's new title and position as Pirate King, she cannot date any other pirate or it's an abuse of her authority.
10. Not to mention the fact that having a woman in such a position of authority is obviously flouting God's plan.
11. And while we're on the subject of God's plan...what's with that pagan perspective on death, and the presence of the goddess Calypso? Where is the Christian afterlife? Where is Christ?
12. And while we're on the subject of sick, perverted gender roles...Pintel and Ragetti put on women's clothing. And that Chinese lady pirate was totally butch.
13. Plus, Will owns the gayest hat in the history of gay hats.
14. In general, Orlando Bloom should be barred from people's interest lists, as his very existence seems to have tripled the amount of slash in the world.
15. Dead Kraken abuse = hentai.
16. Any fic involving Keith Richards = necrophilia.
(Also in Cel's journal here.)
Title: Eternal Reward
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Pairing: Will Turner/James Norrington
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: Welcome to Disneyland.
Warning: POTC3:AWE spoilers!
Even in death, James Norrington couldn't help competing.
"I died a warrior," he insisted when pulled aboard the Dutchman. "Surely I should be in some Elysian field."
"Then go find one," snapped Will, who was busy scanning the depths for other souls.
And there was the issue of fidelity. "If Elizabeth was my wife..."
"But she isn't," Will reminded him. "I won't see her again for ten years."
As Will observed, James was no longer in the Navy. "Things are different out here. No promotions... but no sodomy laws."
And in the end, James preferred to serve the Dutchman's captain.
~~~
celandineb and I were going to write some more Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End fic as consolation for the dearth of porn on LiveJournal after the Great Strikeout of 2007, but then we realized that we did not dare, for the amount of potential perversion in the POTC universe is beyond comprehension: necrophilia, bestiality, Orlando Bloom! 1. Any fic involving Jack or Barbossa = necrophilia.
2. Any fic involving Davy Jones = bestiality.
3. Jack/Goat = bestiality too, though 1) canonical and 2) not as gross as Jack/Davy Jones.
4. Jack/Jack = masturbation.
5. When Jack thought Elizabeth was a boy who wanted to sleep with him, he said he was flattered instead of having her arrested.
6. Plus he gave her rum when she was under 21. After all, if she'd been over 21, she would have been considered an old maid and Norrington wouldn't have wanted to marry her.
7. And Norrington first fell for Elizabeth when she was, like, ten years old, singing pirate songs on his ship. By the time she was old enough for him to marry, he was distracted by pirates. Perv.
8. Those two Royal Navy guards who deserted to become pirates were obviously trying to flout sodomy laws.
9. Given Elizabeth's new title and position as Pirate King, she cannot date any other pirate or it's an abuse of her authority.
10. Not to mention the fact that having a woman in such a position of authority is obviously flouting God's plan.
11. And while we're on the subject of God's plan...what's with that pagan perspective on death, and the presence of the goddess Calypso? Where is the Christian afterlife? Where is Christ?
12. And while we're on the subject of sick, perverted gender roles...Pintel and Ragetti put on women's clothing. And that Chinese lady pirate was totally butch.
13. Plus, Will owns the gayest hat in the history of gay hats.
14. In general, Orlando Bloom should be barred from people's interest lists, as his very existence seems to have tripled the amount of slash in the world.
15. Dead Kraken abuse = hentai.
16. Any fic involving Keith Richards = necrophilia.
(Also in Cel's journal here.)
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